


Real Men Play Neopets

by spacegirl



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types, Neopets
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Community: makinghugospin, Crack, Gen, what am i doing with my life you guys?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-01
Updated: 2013-04-01
Packaged: 2017-12-07 05:16:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/744690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spacegirl/pseuds/spacegirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>les miserables/neopets crossover - Enjolras has a slight obsession with neopets.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Occupy Fairyland

**Author's Note:**

> okay so i had way too much fun writing this and i keep having more ideas of the barricade boys playing neopets and i'm going to have to write more i'm so sorry

“You may be wondering why I've called you all to a meeting in my flat this late at night” Enjolras said turning off the television to get everyone's full attention.

“Not really you do this quite a lot” Mumbled Grantaire who was led across the floor “What government has horrified you this time?”

“I think the time for talking is over. I think it's time to take a stand. This is a time for action!” His voice had grown louder and his friends started to wake up as they looked up at him. “I've been speaking to Marius and he agrees with me, Neopets is-”

He was cut off by a groan from nearly everyone in the room. “The fucking children's game again.” Courfeyrac grumbled.

“Well I'm sorry Courf but I don't know if you've noticed that-” He was cut off again.

“Of course we haven't noticed none of us go on that stupid website.” 

“Well Marius does and he agrees with me something has to be done about inflation!” He looked over to Marius who punched the air slightly before sinking back in his seat when Bahorel glared at him. “The fairies have taken over – the shopkeepers all seem very involved too - and left the rest of us to suffer.”

“I thought fairyland fell or something?” Jehan said with a yawn before going wide eyed realising he had just admitted to also playing Neopets. 

“Oh come on you don't really go on there too Jehan?” Combeferre asked “We all said we'd stop playing after the last time Enjolras got obsessed with it.”

“What pets do you have?” Marius asked shifting to face him.

“That's a discussion for another time.” Enjolras cut in. “Yes Jehan, Fairyland did fall, and the fairy queen did nothing about it! She allowed her people to suffer without providing any help or support in a time of great stress. She sat in her tower and allowed other fairies to carry on using people as servants. The items you get as rewards on fairy quests are simply not worth the money you spend on the items you buy for them!” 

“Dear God give me strength.” Combeferre mumbled burying his head in his hands.

“I went into the food shop in Neopia Central the other day and one carrot, a single carrot, was on sale for 1,910 neopoints!” Marius audibly gasped and Enjolras turned to him and nodded seriously.

“Man are you really that bad at all the games that you can't make enough money.” Bahorel laughed “Just play the dress up game you don't have to be good and it gives you money no matter how bad you dress them.”

“You too!?” Combeferre turned around in horror.

“Or just use the wheels to get money and items.” Joly replied.

“Oh God I wouldn't advise that, I span the wheel of excitement and lost all my money and caught some horrible illness.” Bossuett moaned causing everyone to laugh slightly whilst Combeferre muttered something about being friends with five year olds under his breath.

“I really think you've missed the point here guys I-” 

“God if you're that low on neopoints Enjolras you could have just told one of us and we'd give you some money.” Courfeyrac laughed and everyone nodded before he turned to Combeferre “Not that I go on there often or that I'm encouraging people to.”

“Send me some neopoints I think the soup fairy hates me with how often I go there begging for food.” Grantaire laughed sitting up and leaning against the sofa.

“I'm sure she doesn't Grantaire, she's probably the only charitable and caring fairy.” Marius replied seriously. “That's why she stays with everyone at the marketplace.”

“YES THE MARKETPLACE OKAY BACK TO THE POINT OF THIS MEETING.” Enjolras shouted gaining everyone's attention, trying to stop the discussion derailing any further. “I'm very pleased you all still play neopets because now we can put my “Occupy Fairyland” plan into action.”

“Combeferre doesn't though and do you know why?” Courfeyrac laughed nudging Combeferre who was trying to sink as far back into the sofa as possible to hide himself. “He was banned for creating multiple accounts and taking advantage of the wheels and stuff!” Courfeyrac was pretty much bouncing with excitement and everyone else had fallen into helpless laughter whilst Enjolras' face hardened.

“Get out.”


	2. Hacked

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Courfeyrac learns that you should never leave your neopets logged onto a public computer.

“Very funny you guys.” Courfeyrac walked into the Musain holding his laptop under his arm, Jehan and Marius looked around confused as Grantaire and Bahorel tried to hide their laughter. “You realise it's going to take me weeks to get that money back and I'll probably never get a fairy paintbrush again.”

“Wait what happened?” Jehan asked making room on the sofa for Courfeyrac to sit.

“These twats.” He pointed across the table to Bahorel and Grantaire. “Went onto my neopets account and filled my inventory with rainbow dung and donated all my money to the money tree! I told you I'd left my neopets logged onto a library computer so you could log me off not so you could ruin my neopets life.”

“Poor Peppa-Poppa.” Marius giggled slightly and Bahorel finally broke, unable to contain his laughter any more. 

“We didn't give away all your money we put it in your bank.” Bahorel laughed and Courfeyrac let out a small huff. “Your fairy Bori looked stupid anyway, you'll thank me when you aren't laughed out of the battledome anymore.” 

“Your totally buying me a coffee. I don't care that I haven't lost my money, I've been emotionally traumatised and I will need a coffee for our friendship to be restored.” Bahorel stood, moving towards the counter to order coffee “And when you get back we're totally playing Key Quest!”

“There's five of us though, Key Quest is four players.” Jehan mentioned before fishing his ringing phone out of his pocket. “Enjolras?”

“I have to go now anyway.” Marius said standing “I'm going to meet Cosette's father today so I need to make myself presentable at least.”

“Your appalling fashion sense transcends into neopets to the point where I actually feel sorry for your pets.” Courfeyrac laughed concentrating on his screen to try and fix the mess that had been made of his inventory and then discovering they'd ruined his shop too “DID YOU HAVE TO DO THAT TO MY SHOP!? Good luck putting a respectable outfit together and let us know how it goes afterwards.”

Marius left as Bahorel walked over putting down the coffee. “I'll create the keyquest game then?” Grantaire asked and Jehan put his finger up asking them to wait. 

“Yeah that's Courf. You totally only rang me to speak to him but then didn't want to tell me that. Rude.” Jehan laughed. “Okay I'm putting you on speaker Bahorel and Grantaire are here too.”

He placed the phone on the table between the two sofas.

“Courfeyrac I cannot tell you how happy I am that you have finally changed your pet from being a fairy to a regular colour.” Enjolras had his speech making voice on and they could almost see his serious face. “I think Peppa-Poppa looks wonderful in blue.”

“Thanks but I didn't change my pet, Grantaire and Bahorel did. I left my account logged on, they ruined my entire life-.”

“That's slightly over dramatic.” Grantaire cut in.

“Grantaire do you finally agree with me that the hierarchy of painted pets needs to be torn down?” Enjolras asked excitedly.  
“Why do you have to turn everything into this grand fight for political justice?” Grantaire moaned.

“I thought you had no problem with painted pets it was the extortionate prices of morphing potions and paintbrushes?” Courfeyrac asked sounding slightly insulted.

“No I don't but it didn't really help show support for the cause did it? And it's the attitude people with painted pets have and how they're treated as though they're better than-.”

“Are you saying my pets have an attitude.” Courfeyrac gasped slightly.

“I think he's saying they have a snobby attitude.” Jehan sounded almost as hurt as Courf, he was almost as attached to Courf's pets as Courfeyrac himself ever since he'd looked after them for a week (Apparently the neolodge couldn't be trusted to care for his pets like Jehan would.)

“No but-” Enjolras was cut off again when Courfeyrac reached over and hung up the phone. They looked at one another and shook their heads solemnly.

“He takes his politics too far.” Grantaire muttered.

“So rude.” Jehan smiled “'Taire can we play on the springtime board for our Key Quest game?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah okay maybe I have way too much fun writing these. What pets do you think everyone would have by the way I'm struggling to decide. Thanks for reading :)


End file.
